1) Situation- you've been pre-approved for an auto loan of 20 lakhs by your bank. The recession is in the past.. What better time to get yourself a new pair of wheels right?
Solution- you can't carpe diem with a big fat loan on your head can you? The world's ending soon anyway.. Make do with the old buggy and live it up!
2) Situation- you've been dating for 6 months now.. She wants to take the relationship to the next step. You on the other hand have difficulty remembering her last name.
Solution- its been a cold winter.. Be chivalrous and offer her your jacket. Make sure she see's the big red hickey (self inflicted if need be) on your neck when you do so. Look confused while she storms off. It will take many months if not years for you to regain her trust. Saves you much conversation.
3) Situation- All your siblings/cousins are getting married.. The parents are getting ansy and have started sighing at regular intervals of the day. Mournfully. Loudly.
Solution- buy you're mum a wii and start your dad of with golf lessons. It should help take their mind of things. For now.
4)Situation- She wants to get a place together.
Solution- don't fight it. Morning sex is always good.
5)Situation- "Now that we're living in.. let's get a puppy!"
Solution- dogs live long. Too long. insist on a gold fish.
6)Situation- the 3 dreaded words..
Solution- stay cool.. Look deep into to her eyes.. And kiss her. Simple. If she tries to continue the conversation fake a nose bleed and blackout. Works like a charm.
7) Situation- V day is around the the corner. She is expecting the works.
Solution- fake a work trip. She'll understand. She always does. Just make sure you lie low and don't run into her at your favorite watering hole the same evening. Slap.
8) Situation- she wants to go on a holiday. Sweet.. Romantic.. Just the two of you. <3
Solution- holiday sex is the best. Way better than morning sex. To safeguard your interests further pick a destination of your choice so if you both do end up running out of conversation you're not the one stuck in bor(ed)ivili. Ha!
9) Situation- its time to meet the parents.
Solution- {disclaimer: don't try the hickey to get out of this one. Repercussions may be far more sever with daddy dearest in the equation. Especially if he's in the army. Chances are surprisingly high. You'd be surprised} wiggle wiggle wiggle and then wiggle some more and get yourself out of it.
10) Situation- you're moving to another city and she insists on keeping the relationship going. Long distance. Gulp.
Solution- within a week of moving get real busy. Ween down your contact with her to liking her facebook updates. She'll move on. In a jiffy. Ta da!
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